Wind

I miss you. I mean, I get that you’re mostly still around, and I am too, but you can’t deny that a distance, whether physical or emotional, has come between us. We might say “Oh, we should catch up sometime!” or “Sorry I’ve been out of it — work has just really been a mess recently,” then make a half-assed attempt to reconnect, but we know we’re just stalling for a time when we can pass each other on the street without a wave or a smile. The winds of time, for whatever reason, have decided to blow us in different directions. Fighting it is possible, but neither of us want it bad enough to make the discomfort and inconvenience worth it. If we did, we wouldn’t be here. But please, don’t feel bad; I understand. It’s okay to want something else. Something easier. Something happier. I use the word “we” for a reason.
Love, and I do love you for the most part, isn’t always enough. It is completely reasonable, then, to say “I miss you” from time to time without making an effort to change. People are, in general, a few tiptoed steps away from being overwhelmed with grief, and it is because I love you that I don’t want you to teeter closer to that edge: even if that means we’ll remain apart.
I do wish, though, that you could see the man that I’ve become. The jury is still out on whether or not you’d be proud, but think a seed of hope that you’ll become a part of my life again still lives inside me. Maybe making the effort would become worth it again. Maybe just knowing would bring a sense of peace. Maybe it would hurt. I’m not sure.
And I want to know you, too! One month or 20 years is a long time, and I imagine you’ve learned just as much as I have. Maybe you’re a new person, as I am, or maybe you’re the same person I loved back then. Either way, I’m sure it’d be good to connect again.
I know you’re busy, though, so I’ll end this here. If you feel like this is for you, you’re probably right — you’d know better than me. My head isn’t sure who you are, but my gut is telling me that this needs to be said. Let me know if the wind begins to sing differently.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s